Reflections from a 2015 Journal

Dear Reader:

Rediscovering old writings feels like opening a time capsule, revealing a version of myself I had almost forgotten. In the pages of a 2015 journal, I found a collection of prose: thoughts on love, thinking, indecision, and life, capturing the emotions and questions of that time.
 
Reading them now, years later, I can see the rawness, curiosity, and quiet searching for my younger self. Some ideas still resonate deeply, while others surprise me, reminding me how much has changed and is still the same.
 
I want to share these reflections with you, my blogging community, not as polished conclusions but as whispers from the past that might spark something in the present.
Perhaps you’ll find yourself in these words; they might offer a fresh perspective, or simply serve as a reminder of how beautifully complex life is.

–jjf

an invitation

our time of hate is in the past

now it’s our time to love

your colourful eyes follow me around,

are you afraid to stare?

yet you like what you see

are my lips too full to swallow yours?

are my eyes too deep that you feel helpless?

come, you can taste my honeycomb

don’t be afraid of the light

there is so much that I can teach you

come, feel me

soft, eh, I told you, so embrace what you love

not in secret places, come

let’s go to the mountains

it’s fresher there

our time of hate is in the past

now it’s our time to love,

again.

(c) jjf’ 2015

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to argue love

and if we argue, fuss, or fight

what good is it gonna do tonight?

you take a piece of my heart

and, with the same breath, say, ‘I love you.’

what good is it gonna do today?

(c) jjf’ 2015

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 restless dove

i’ll contend for you, my love

as sure as the stars are above

though you may try to fly away

my love for you will multiply,

though distance may keep us apart,

though others may try to steal your heart;

my grip on you shall never depart.

(c)2015 jjf

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Indecision

Can I look at life in a two-way fold

Can I walk through two open doors

Can I share love fifty-fifty

What, then, shall I do?

Deep into those eyes, I am afraid

Deep into the past, I keep remembering

Deep into the future, I have to creep

What, then, shall I do?

(c) jjf’ 2015

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Before a full poem

I keep giving me away piece by piece

I cannot find real love

my soul knows best

but I just can’t rest

I keep giving myself away piece by piece.

Stop.

I am taking back my pieces

I am waiting for my real love

to take me as one whole.

(c) jjf’ 2015

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A Song of Longing

I’ll be there before the first rain falls

I’ll be there before you close your eyes

If all the rain should stop falling

If all the fruit trees stop bearing

If all the birds stop singing

My love for you will never change

My laughter will be heard throughout the land

To bring joy to your heart

I’ll be there before the sun sets

I’ll be there before you close your eyes.

(c) jjf’ 2015

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Questions to Self

Do you love yourself enough?

Asking the same questions over and over again:

Who do you think you are?

Do you love your thoughts?

Do you love your neighbour as yourself?

Do you love who you are?

(c) jjf’ 2015

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Thanks for reading! 😊