Striving for Deliverance- A Testimony

Striving for Deliverance- A Testimony

Fasting is an important part of the Bible, and I’ve learned to embrace it fully. Rather than focusing on the “SMART” goals I learned at the employment centre, I’m turning to the wisdom found in Scripture. This isn’t about pride or selfishness. I’m honestly searching for a real breakthrough. Sometimes, I feel a spiritual heaviness that I know I can’t overcome on my own. But I remember what Jesus said: some challenges only change through prayer and fasting. That’s the truth I’m holding onto.

For years, I’ve tried to break free from cannabis, cigarettes, and alcohol. I’ve made some real progress. I’ve left behind the clubs and stopped drinking hard liquor, but cannabis and cigarettes are still hard to let go of. There have been times when I’ve stayed away for days or even months, but cravings or the comfort of friends always seem to pull me back. Now, I’m ready to break free for good.

I realized I had to get away. I needed to step back and put some space between myself and everything else because I couldn’t break free while I was still in the middle of it. It’s hard to think clearly when every conversation tempts you to slip up.

“Where are the next drinks?”
“Where is the weed?”
“Do you have any cigarettes to spare?”

I’m doing everything I can to find the strength to stay away. I’ve realized that leaving is one thing, but staying away is much harder, especially when the silence feels heavy or memories of old friends come back. I’m desperate for the resolve to keep following this new path, even when I miss the familiar comfort of my old life. I need the strength to say “no” every day, choosing my freedom instead of their company.

I feel hopeless, and I need Your help, O God. I am asking for divine intervention because I am struggling so much with these habits I used to numb my pain, calm my worries, and quiet my restlessness. Depression has become an unwanted part of my life. I never chose this, and I really resent how heavy it feels on my soul.

Today, I quit smoking again. I’ll admit I feel embarrassed when I think about how many times I’ve tried and failed. It’s been an exhausting journey filled with tiredness, frustration, and constant cravings. I’m angry about the money I’ve wasted, and honestly, I’m just tired of feeling this way. This time, I’m making a real promise to myself and to God: no more lying, no more false starts. I am determined to give up these habits for the better life God has promised me.

I’ve come to realize that I’ve been snapping at people like a startled turtle, allowing the friction of frustration and the weight of addiction to dictate my behaviour. But I know it is time for a change. No one else can make this decision for me; I must choose it for myself. I want to live a long, vibrant life and be a blessing to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren, just like the faithful men and women of old. There is work for me to do in God’s kingdom—encouraging weary souls and helping others rise from life’s deepest pits and valleys. To do this, I must fully surrender to Jesus Christ and rely on the power of His Holy Spirit for complete deliverance.

I’ll never forget the elderly doctor at the community health centre who looked past my symptoms and saw my soul. His compassionate blue eyes and the gentle weight of his question.

“Why don’t you give yourself life?”

That non-judgmental question became the spark that finally ignited my journey toward freedom. He didn’t just check my blood pressure; he reminded me of my value. Even though I tried to justify my smoking as a way to settle the anxiety in my stomach, his quiet presence spoke volumes beyond my excuses. He was a living reminder that wisdom is found among the elderly and that understanding comes with a long life. His question still echoes in my heart today, challenging me to continually embrace the abundant life God has planned for me.

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Update: Praise God! It’s been eight years since I let go of the habits that once controlled me. Cigarettes were the last to go, but by His grace, I am free. As I rewrite this entry in The Any Day Journal, I do so as a senior, grateful for wisdom and staying close to God’s Word. I live in His presence with deep thanks, and I thank the Holy Spirit every day for guidance. I am living proof of God’s power and grace to change lives, always grateful, and always growing.

The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. – Romans 13: 12

Be blessed; you are not alone.

Thanks for reading! 😊

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Reference: Bible NKJV