Learning through scenarios allows us to step into real-life situations and explore challenges in a dynamic, practical way. By engaging with these experiences, we develop problem-solving skills, adaptability, and a deeper understanding of the complexities of the real world. This approach bridges the gap between theory and practice, making learning more meaningful and applicable. My scenarios are rooted in real-life experiences, ensuring authenticity and relevance in every lesson.
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard
Introduction
I recall attending a mandatory counselling session through the Women in Transition program at Bethlehem Place in St. Catharines, Ontario. This program provided support for those healing from past wounds, overcoming drug addiction, coping with grief, and finding stability after homelessness. It also offered space for building relationships, including an eight-week course on friendship within its “Relationship Group.” Completing this course felt like an achievement, and I still proudly keep the certificate in my folder today.
For my writing practice, I’ve decided to share my personal experiences on topics from my friendships course.
Why do I focus on friendship?
As the only child among seven siblings who settled in Canada, I’ve lived here for over thirty-two years without the close presence of family. Although two of my sisters stayed with me briefly in the past, they eventually returned home, leaving me to build a family among strangers: people from church, coworkers, and members of my local community. These individuals weren’t related by blood, yet they became part of my life.
Building meaningful friendships is like embarking on a journey full of delightful surprises, where each moment brings us closer and deepens our connection. It requires care, understanding, and a lot of love, much like tending to a garden. Every shared laugh, kind word, and thoughtful gesture helps friendships grow and blossom into something truly special. Here are some ways I’ve applied to strengthen those bonds, though there are countless ways to nurture a friendship!
Active Listening
Being genuinely interested in what your friends say goes beyond just hearing them; it means actively listening.
I remember when my friend Ashley and I had a bit of a misunderstanding. One afternoon, we met for coffee, and Ashley seemed unusually quiet. I started chatting about my day, not noticing she wasn’t responding.
“Did you hear what I said?” I asked, a bit annoyed.
Ashley looked up, startled. “I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind,” she said quietly.
I realized then that I had been so caught up in my thoughts and what I had to say that I hadn’t noticed her demeanour. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ashley. What’s been going on with you?” I asked, leaning in and giving her my full attention.
Ashley sighed, “It’s just overwhelming work, and I feel like I’m drowning.”
I nodded, showing her that I was genuinely interested. “That sounds tough. What’s going on?”
As Ashley shared, I listened actively, not just with my ears but with my heart. I asked questions to show my curiosity about her day at work. On the third day of her college placement, she was at the youth drop-in. The kids were a rambunctious group; she needed the energy and creative activity to keep up with them.
“What do you think would help you feel more in control?” I asked.
By the end of our conversation, Ashley looked more relaxed.
“Thanks for listening. It feels good to know someone cares.”
I smiled, “I’m always here for you.”
At that moment, I realized the power of active listening. Our bond deepened when Ashley felt honestly heard and understood, fostering a sense of connection and trust. This experience taught me that being genuinely interested in what my friends have to say goes beyond just hearing their words. It’s about engaging with their thoughts and feelings and responding with empathy and understanding. Through active listening, we can strengthen our friendships even further.
Support and Encouragement
Spending quality time together and engaging in activities we enjoy has always been the cornerstone of my friendship with Michelle. Whether grabbing a cup of coffee, taking a stroll in the park, praying, meditating on God’s Word, or watching a movie, these shared experiences create cherished memories.
Last summer, a few of our church friends decided to picnic at a nearby park after the service. As we walked along the winding paths, Michelle suddenly stopped and said, “Do you ever feel like life has this way of surprising you in good and bad ways?” I nodded, sensing she had something on her mind. She then said she had recently lost her job and felt frustrated.
Without hesitation, I wrapped my arm around her and said, “I’m sorry.” After excusing ourselves from the others, we found a bench and sat down, discussing her fears and dreams until one of the other ladies joined in.
Michelle told Laura what had happened. “I know the feeling all too well,” she said, sighing deeply.
Laura hugged Michelle and then handed her a business card. “Call me in a week,” she said gently.
Celebrating each other’s victories and standing by each other during challenging moments has become a hallmark of our bond. Two months later, thanks to Laura, Michelle landed a new job as the head cook at the Women’s Shelter. I was her biggest cheerleader, throwing a small celebration in her honour. Seeing her smile with joy and relief made all the support and love worth it.
Being a loyal friend means believing in each other’s potential and offering unwavering support. Michelle and I inspire each other to grow, nudging one another forward with love and kindness. Our friendship has become a constant source of strength and motivation, guiding us through life’s challenges and triumphs.
Transparency
Being honest and transparent with my friends has always laid the foundation for our relationships, built on trust and authenticity. Embracing honesty and transparency in our friendship is key to building a strong and enduring connection based on trust and mutual respect.
Debbie and I had always been close, but there was a period when I was struggling with some personal issues and didn’t feel comfortable sharing. One day, she came over to my place for a short visit, and she could tell something was off.
How can I tell my friend that the most horrific thing had just happened to me? A sexual assault is a hard pill to swallow, especially when the person who assaulted you was close to home.
“Are you okay?” she asked, genuinely concerned.
Reluctantly, I decided to be open with her. “Honestly, I’ve been going through a tough time,” I admitted. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety, and it’s been overwhelming,” I explained what had happened to me the night before, and we both broke down crying.
Debbie listened attentively, and I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders as I shared my feelings. She told me about her struggles with a similar situation, and we found common ground in our vulnerability.
We talked about how important it is to be transparent, to share lovingly, and to show each other areas that might be detrimental to our well-being, always with humility and wisdom. We do not think that one of us is better, but we acknowledge that life happens to us all.
Opening up about what I was going through created a safe space for Debbie to do the same. Trust began to blossom, and we confided in each other without fear of judgment or betrayal. It’s made all the difference in our relationship, and I’m always grateful for the strength and support we provided to each other. It didn’t end with just our sharing, but we were able to sit in counselling forums to get healing.
“Remember the words from Psalms: ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’ We are never truly alone in our suffering; there is always hope for healing.”
Special Occasions
Living in government housing meant the church often hosted free summer barbecues for everyone. These gatherings were filled with lively conversations about upcoming birthdays, graduations, children entering their teenage years, and the arrival of new babies. It was always a vibrant and exciting time for the community.
I remember when Mrs. Seta turned 70. Her grandchildren made a giant card covered in glitter and stickers with their tiny hands and proudly presented it to her during the surprise party we all helped organize. The laughter and cheerful noise from the children playing in the yard were the soundtrack of that beautiful day.
These occasions are more than dates on a calendar; they are reminders of the love and connections that bind us. They offer a chance to come together, celebrate the little victories and the big milestones, and create memories that will warm our hearts for years to come. Whether it’s the giggles of children, the shared stories of neighbours, or the collective cheers for someone’s achievement, these moments, with their love, joy, and togetherness, make us realize that friendship is beyond our home.
Acknowledging these milestones proves that we value and cherish the people in our lives. A simple message or thoughtful gift shows that we care and are thinking of them on their special day. It is not about the grand gestures, but rather the sincerity and thoughtfulness behind the gesture that genuinely matters.
Forgive and Let Go
I’ve learned that friendship is like a road trip. Sometimes, it’s smooth and scenic, with the windows down and music blasting. And then, in an instant, you find yourself detouring onto a strange side road with cows and horses grazing nearby, arguing about who gave the worst directions. I remember a road trip with my new friend Keira from BC, which gave me perfect clarity.
We were headed to Mission, excited for a weekend adventure. Somewhere along the way, we missed a turn. One of her older daughters swore it was my fault for misinterpreting Google Maps. I was using my phone because Keira’s cellphone had died, and someone forgot to bring the correct charger for her van.
Arguments flew like an old hammerhead. Everyone had an opinion about what exactly happened. I knew what had happened, but I was too amused by the scenery to care. After all, I was new to BC, and everything caught my attention.
“How’s it even possible to miss the main intersection?” she exclaimed, slapping her hand on the steering wheel. “Can you not read or listen properly?” she fumed. I retorted that Keira was too busy singing off-key to notice the giant exit sign.
The tension brewed until we drove further down a narrow road, which felt like someone’s private driveway. A man walking his dog was just as curious and asked if we needed help. After redirecting us, we got back on the right road to Mission.
“My apologies!” “Sorry, my bad.”
Silence filled the van. Then, out of nowhere, Nakota burst into laughter, pointing at my phone and saying, “Well, I guess neither of us is cut out to be explorers.” That broke the ice, and soon, our shared laughter filled the van, washing away the tension and the memory of being lost.
That moment taught me something profound about friendship: it’s not about avoiding disagreements but how you handle them. Sure, we argued but also forgave each other and moved on. Holding onto grudges, or, in our case, a missed exit, would have only ruined the trip. Instead, we learned from it and grew closer.
Friendship thrives on those moments of forgiveness. You apologize, laugh, and keep going, even if the road is rocky. And just like that detour, those bumps can bring you closer. When we reached the hiking grounds, we weren’t just friends; we were partners in the lost zone with a great story to share. Keira hugged me and apologized, “Sorry, I lost it.” Making the sign of the open and close commas. We laughed some more. Friendship, like that trip, is a journey. The willingness to forgive and let go keeps the van moving, no matter how many wrong turns you take together. It’s the strength of forgiveness that keeps the journey going.
♥ jjf’24
Credit:
- Photo by Microsoft Stock Images -Two ladies welcoming each other
- All other photos – My Cellphone and I
- Edited with Microsoft Editor and Grammarly
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